My senior year of college was, by far, the most emotionally and intellectually exhausting period of my undergraduate experience.
I spent hours upon hours writing, rewriting, and revising my senior thesis, the most challenging (and, in retrospect, fulfilling) research project I’ve completed to date; I saw some cherished relationships slowly dissolve while others abruptly shattered; I went through the motions of attending seemingly endless–and frustrating–discussions with university administrators about issues of “diversity and inclusion” (read: insidious anti-Black prejudice) on campus. In the background, forefront, and center of all of this, I watched what Steven Thrasher has rightfully named “the pornography of [Black] genocide.” I couldn’t seem to get through a few weeks, let alone a month, without bearing witness to yet another pointless death of a Black person, often at the hands of an abusive state.
I had many ups and downs during that year, but the downs felt particularly low. I recall continually whispering to myself, “I can’t do this. I’m so through.” I was drained. Continue reading “Breaking & Mending”
On Becoming 